Failed or Failure?
And the journey back is far too long and difficult!
"I have failed" is an event. Single events can happen too easily, and they can be caused by a poor decision, a character flaw, or a momentary weakness. Other times, a failing is outside our own control.
A "poor decision" would usually be the result of a lack of information. Sometimes we make these poor decisions because we didn't fully think through the situation. Sometimes it's because information wasn't available. Sometimes it's because we just got into a rush and acted based on what we knew at the moment, instead of waiting to have better information.
I have lumped a few things under "character flaw", but this is basically a case where we acted consistent with our normal tendencies. I know someone who will often speak without thinking, and then blame it on, "I don't have a filter." The best thing about these types of tendencies is that they can be corrected if we have the desire to correct them, but it has to start with WANTING to change.
The "momentary weakness" is probably the rarest of these decision types. We usually act based on our normal patterns of behavior, but sometimes we just do something "random". I personally prefer salty snacks. I enjoy sweets sometimes, but not that often and not to excess. BUT, on very rare occasions, I have been known to buy a couple of candy bars and eat both in one sitting. It's rare, but it does happen.
"I am a failure" is a self-definition. The problem with defining ourselves in a bad light is that these often become self-fulfilling prophesies. The more I believe that I ONLY make bad choices, the more likely I am to make MORE bad choices.
When we realize that we have made a bad choice, we need to consider WHY we made that bad choice, and then work toward correcting that problem.
Back in 2014, I lost the job that I had been in for 14 years. My boss told me, "(His boss's name) told me I have to let you go because of your bad attitude." I disagreed with the entire premise (LONG story) and I told him so. Bottom line, I was out of a job.
I found a new job and three years later I was "let go" again. This one was completely outside my control. I had been given an impossible project and was unable to work a miracle. Totally different situation, but same result.
While looking for a job after I was fired the first time, and following through the job I got after the second time I was fired, I had four consecutive instances of having job interviews with the exact same scenario. On all four, I was told I was their second choice and they were going with somebody else, then contacted me a short time later to see if I was still available. The first of these was the second job that I lost.
Rather than giving up and deciding that I was just a failure, in each instance, I evaluated what I might need to change to make things better. Then I acted on it.
Unfortunately, we often decide that we just can't do any better. At that point, we give up and label ourselves a failure. Once we do that, we're don't try to correct anything. We just wallow in our self-pity and give up. That's a terrible, hopeless place to be.
Now let me go through some Bible examples.
Judas Iscariot had walked with and served under Jesus for three years. Just like the other Apostles. Judas, however, decided to betray Jesus into the hands of the religious leaders of their day. Many people have speculated about his motives, but the Bible doesn't specifically tell us why he did it. It DOES tell us that he felt remorse for what he had done and then killed himself. Judas let his failing become his end. (See Luke 22 and Matthew 27)
In the early morning hours before Jesus was crucified, Peter denied three times that he knew Jesus. After Jesus' resurrection, he met Peter and the other disciples by the lake where they were fishing. Three times, Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him. Three times, Peter said that he did. And three times, Jesus told Peter to minister to His followers. Peter dusted himself off, went forward with his life, and became one of the greatest leaders of the church. (See Matthew 26 and John 21)
Let me briefly tell you about Moses. God told Moses to speak to a rock to make water come from the rock. Moses chose to strike the rock with his staff. God gave the people water, but He also told Moses that he would not enter into the Promised Land because of his disobedience. Moses continued to lead the people of Israel until they were ready to cross the Jordan river into the land. He chose not to label himself a failure and quit. (See Numbers 20 and Deuteronomy 34)
Again briefly, David sinned with Bathsheba. He then sinned again by having her husband killed (a man he personally knew). After David and Bathsheba's son was born, he became deathly ill. David fasted and prayed for his son for seven days. When the baby died, David's servants feared that he would do something terrible to himself. But he didn't. He cleaned himself up and ate and got back to being the king. (See 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12)
If you feel like you have failed in some way, please don't let that event define you! Learn what you can from it, and keep pressing forward.
"Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14
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